Embrace The Unique Individual You Are

 

Occasionally, when our doubts, fears, and insecurities overwhelm us, we always come up with the thought, “I wish I were somebody else.” Often, we believe and believe that someone, or rather, most people, are superior to us - when, in reality, most people are more afraid than we are.

For example, when noticing a stunning young lady sitting alone at a party, casually sipping on a glass of wine. You think to yourself, “she appears to be completely at ease and confident.” However, if you could read her mind, you would see a cloud of thoughts and she is thinking “are people discussing why I am seated alone here?... Why don’t men find me attractive?” I dislike my ankles; they appear too skinny... I wish I possessed the intellect of my best friend.”

 We look at a young entrepreneur and think, “Wow... what else could he want?” He looks in the mirror and murmurs to himself, “I despise my gigantic eyes... I’m curious why my friends refuse to communicate with me... I’m hoping mom and dad can still work things out.”

 Isn’t that an eye opener? We look at other people and feel envious of their outrageously perfect appearance, wishing we could swap places with them while they look at us and feel the same way. We are insecure about other people who are insecure about us. Because it enveloped us in quiet desperation, we suffer from low self-esteem, a lack of self-confidence, and a loss of hope for self-improvement.

Occasionally, you realise an irritating habit such as biting your fingernails or having a foul mouth, and you–of all people– are the last to notice.

 I have a friend who never tires of talking. And in most conversations, she appears to be the only one who appears interested in what she has to say. Thus, our other friends avoid the circles whenever she is present, and she is unaware of how severely socially handicapped she has become–gradually affecting the people in her environment.

 One way to improve one’s self-esteem is to listen to and talk with a trusted friend. Find someone with whom you feel at ease discussing even the most delicate subjects. Consider: “Do you believe I am impolite?” “Do I always sound so argumentative?” “Do I speak too loudly?” “Does my breath smell?” “Did I ever bore you while we were together?” This way, the other person will immediately recognise your interest in self-improvement. Provide her with your ears for comments and criticisms and not respond with phrases like “Do not exaggerate!” That is how I am!” Open your mind and heart. And in exchange, you may wish to assist your friend by providing constructive criticism that will also aid her in self-improvement.

 “Learning to love yourself is the greatest love of all,” Whitney Houston sings in one of her songs. True! To love others, one must first love oneself. Remember, you cannot give what you do not possess.

 Before instructing others on how to improve themselves, demonstrate to them you, too, are a representation and product of self-improvement. Self-improvement transforms us into better people, who inspire others, and the rest of the world follows.

 Put an end to your perception of yourselves as second-rate beings. Forget the endless cycle of “If only I were richer... if only I were thinner,” and so on. Accepting your true self is the first step toward personal growth. We need to stop comparing ourselves to others only to discover that we have ten additional reasons to envy them in the end.

 Each of us has our own insecurities. Nobody is faultless. We constantly wish for better things, better features, better body parts, and so forth. However, life does not have to be perfect for people to be content with themselves.

Self-improvement and self-love are not about proclaiming to the world that you are perfect and the best. It is the virtue of contentment and acceptance. When we improve ourselves, we experience a sense of fulfillment and happiness. Try it.